What are we Doing?

 

“Eww, that’s a gross cover magazine!” She says, as Arienette carries a magazine to her seat at the dentist.

“Why?” I laugh, “Let’s see” she shows me the cover.

“Donald Trump is on it.” She replies, showing me the cover of the new TIME. She opens it, and asks “are those the cages?” I explain that she is looking at truck trailers, and flip to the page where the article on the new immigration policy begins. She looks through the pictures, flipping back to the cover. “Why is she crying?” She asks, speaking of the little girl on the cover. I am honest as I tell her that people took her away from her mommy and daddy. “How can a president do that?” She asks.

“Because he is a bad person.” I tell her as she casually flips through the rest of the magazine and putting it away.

My little girl is 6 years old, and she is questioning the policies of the man who is supposed to be the most powerful person in the world. She sees what we are doing in this country, and she recognises that it is wrong. Many times over the past few weeks, she has asked about what is happening, and why children are being torn from the only safety they know. I try to answer with as much honesty as possible; she is young, but she is very smart, and I have no use for lies. Especially with my girls. They, and their peers are the future of this country, and they should know what is being left to them. The mess that, ultimately, they will be tasked with cleaning up.

Add these policies to the decline in education, healthcare, and compassion, and I am unsure whether anything at all will be here for them in coming years. I worry that if there is anything left, they may be unequipped to do anything meaningful with it.

Will there be clean water? Fresh Air? Will it be a full on dystopian society?

If Trump were impeached and expelled from his position today, would it be possible to recover a sense of normalcy? I am unsure. In a country where people still support this man on his quest to destroy our country, is there any hope?

Most of his supporters don’t even seem to realize the truth of what they are supporting. They are every day, mostly decent people who just wanted change. They can’t see the Forrest for the trees. They don’t believe in hurting people, so they don’t realize that their leader does. Others can see it, and either don’t care, or applaud it.

What are we leaving to our children? Will they even grow up to see it? We take money out of education and health care, and throw it into the military, and now a… space force? Really? Education and healthcare are so vital to our children, and we are robbing them of the tools they need for success, to pay for things we don’t need to increase.

Why can my 6 year old understand something that adults still can’t grasp?

19

• Arienette: “I ALWAYS love you!”
  Me: “Do you know what that means?”
  Arienette: “Yes.”
  Me: “What does it mean?”
  Arienette: “You are Batman!”
• Arienette: “Conceal, don’t feel, put on a show… make it 100 and nobody will know…”
• Arienette: “Can I choke?”
  Me: “What? No!”
  Arienette: “Would you be sad?”
  Me: “Yes, I would be sad.”
  Arienette: “Okay, I will choke. I like it when you be sad.”
  Me: …
• Krishna: “Do you like Sempai Aaron?”
  Arienette: “YES! I take a CRUSH on Sempai Aaron!!”
• Arienette: “Why does sissa have to go?”
  Me: “Because granmum said so”
  Arienette: “Well I want her to stay!”
  Me: “I want her to stay too”
  Arienette: “Well, I think… I think…”
  Me: “What do you think?”
  Arienette: “I think a hot dog is coming out of my butt!”
• Arienette: “My belly doesn’t wanna go this way.”

Me: “Oh? Where does your belly want to go?”

Arienette: “My belly wants to go to Sylar’s house!”

• Arienette: “I was talking about BUTTS!!”
• Arienette: “I’m starving a little.”
  Krishna: “You can’t starve a little.”
  Arienette: “Yes I can… of COURSE I can!!”
• Arienette: “Don’t cry, you’re avoidable!”
• Arienette: “Butts, butts, butts, I got wild eyes.”

18

 

 

• Arienette: “Can you throw me?”
  Me: “No”
  Arienette: “Why?”
  Me: “If I throw you, you will get hurt.”
  Krishna: “I’ll do it.”
  Me: “Sissa will throw you”
  Arienette: (To Krishna) “Don’t. Because I will be hurt. And I will break so hard.”
• Arienette: “You look like a boy.”
  Me: “Okay.”
  Arienette: “I don’t want you to be a boy.”
  Me: “Well, here’s some good news, I’m not a boy.”
  Arienette: “You are a girl!”
  Me: “Yep.”
• Arienette: “Are you gonna be at my birthday, maybe?”
• Arienette: “You look like a blimp!”
• Arienette: “Maybe you will buy me a yoyo!”
• Me: “Goodnight, Arienette, I love you.”
  Arienette: “I don’t love you.”
  Me: “That’s alright.”
  Arienette: “I don’t gotta love you.”
  Me: “No, you don’t have to love me, but I love you. Very much.”
  Arienette: “Well, I don’t love you!”
• Me: “What do you want for dinner?”
  Arienette: “I want seahorse chicken nuggets.”
  Me: “What??”
  Arienette: “I want seahorse chicken nuggets!”
  Me: “I don’t have seahorse chicken nuggets…”
  Arienette: “Why? I want those.”
• Arienette: “Maybe Colby won’t be at class today.”
  Me: “Do you want Colby to be at class?”
  Arienette: “No, he hits me a lot.”
  Me: *seethe* “Why didn’t you tell me he hits you?”
  Arienette: “I told you today.”
  Me:”Did you tell your teachers he hits you?”
  Arienette: “Yes.”
  Me: “And what did your teachers say?”
  Arienette: “They said don’t hit.”
  Me: “Well, I’m going to talk to your teachers…”
• Arienette: (singing) “I’m a lobster, nice and sweet!”
• Arienette: “This doll doesn’t have nipples!!”
• I was in the bathroom, and Arienette comes in…
  Arienette: “I got into your stuff.”
  Me: “Well then, you’re going to be in trouble.”
  Arienette: “Will I have a time out?”
  Me: “I don’t know, it depends what you did.”
  Arienette: “Can you smell it?”
  Me: “…”
  Arienette: “I took your lotion”
  Me:”bring it to me.”
  Arienette: “It’s kinda gluey”
  Me: “Yep, that’s not lotion.”
  Arienette: “What is it?”
  Me:”That’s liquid latex. For Halloween. I am going to have to peel it off you.”
  Arienette: “It’s in my bed… please don’t peel off my skin, I want to be together!”

She opened my brand new bottle of latex and poured it all over herself and her bed.                At least I know she doesn’t have a latex allergy…

• Arienette: “There’s applesauce inside my blueberries!!”

 

Pretty.

“Come on, pretty girl, time to get dressed for school!” The words were barely out of my mouth before I felt a rush of guilt, but why? She is a pretty girl. I didn’t say anything out of line, like “perfect girl” or “prettiest girl”, just “pretty girl”. So why did I feel so guilty?

The fact is that, in the tumult to focus on more than our physical bodies, there is a creeping of underlying shame coming through. “Don’t tell them they are pretty, tell them they are smart.” She is smart, and strong, and hysterically funny. She is also pretty.

I understand that there are so many things that are more important than our looks, you have only to look at me to see that I will never look like a model, but I am funny, smart, and caring… perhaps a bit too caring at times, but that is another story for another day. I also have hated my face for as long as I have known it, and that has caused serious problems in my life. I have therefore, made it a point to make sure my children know they are beautiful. Both aesthetically and otherwise. Part of that is to teach them to be good people, but part of it is also to say “Come on, pretty girl, time to get dressed for school!” once in a while.

Krishna does kung fu, and when Arienette gets a bit older, maybe she will want to as well. I always encourage my girls to do what makes them happy, and I tell them they can be whatever hey want as long as they are happy and nobody is getting hurt. I teach them to be kind, even to the mean kids, because you never know what someone is going through at home. I encourage them to climb trees, and play in the dirt, swim and ride bikes, be artistic, help in the garden and so much more. If I also call them “pretty”, or “beautiful”, I do not believe that is wrong. I refuse to feel guilty for telling them they are pretty.

17

• Arienette came over to see the bracelet I am working on. I show it to her.
  Me: “I’m almost done, see?”
  Arienette: “Wow! That’s mine!!” lol
• Arienette: “Eat your dinosaur cookies.”
  Me: “They’re not cookies, they’re chicken nuggets.”
• Arienette: “I’m gonna break your finger off.”
  Me: “That’s not nice, go have a time out.”
  Arienette: “That’s not how it works!!”
• Arienette is going to bed, she turns her back to me, looks over her shoulder, and says:
  “I like to do this…”
  curls one leg up, and promptly farts.
• Krishna: “What do you want to be when you grow up?”
  Arienette: “A turtle.”
• Arienette: “Do I have a boyfriend?”
  Me: (confused) “I don’t know, do you?”

Arienette: “yes”

Me: “Oh? Who is it?”
Arienette: “Sissa is my boyfriend.”

• Arienette: “What we gonna have for supper today?”
  Me: “I don’t know.”
  Arienette: “How bout some popsicles?”
  Me: “No.”
  Arienette: “Why?”
  Me: “Popsicles are not a supper food.”
  Arienette: “How about snacks are a supper food?”
  Me: “Nope.”
  Arienette: “Gummies are a supper food?”
  Me: “Still no.”
• Top of Form
• Arienette: “is spiders happy?”
• Arienette: “When I’m in kindergarten, I’ll be a boy.”
  Me: “… *sigh* okay”
  Arienette: “yeah, cause I’m not a boy yet. I’m a girl. Why I’m a girl?”
  Me: “Because.”
• Arienette: “I like dragonflies. You look like a angel!”
• Arienette: (from her bedroom) “Got a questionnnnnnn”
  Me: “What is it?”
  Arienette: (scampers out of bedroom, holding finger out to me) “I got a fuzzy.”
• Arienette: “Can I have your body?”
  Me: “no..?”
  Arienette: “Why? I want your body. I can have your body. And then we can change.”

Interview With Arienette

1. What is something mommy always says to you? “ask”
2. What makes you happy? “beads”
3. What makes you sad? “No toys”
4. What makes you laugh? “snowmans”
5. How old are you? “3″
6. How old is Mommy? “4″
7. What is your favorite thing to do? “To my farm”
8. Who is your best friend? “Annalisse”
9. What do you want to be when you grow up? “A Spiderman”
10. What are you really good at? “My blocks”
11. What are you not very good at? “My popper”
12. What did you do today? “I sat in circle, I ate some ice cream, I got some clothes on.”
13. What is your favorite food? “Ice cream.”
14. What is your favorite song? “Elsa song.”
15. What do you want for your birthday this year? “A’s. Fishes.”
16. What is your favorite animal? “Chicken, duckling.”
17. What is love? “Sissa.”
18. Where do you live? “At home.”
19. Where is your favorite place to go? “At school.”

 

 

16

• Arienette: “We don’t got any food!”
• Arienette: (in her room) “Never play with fire. Never play with fire. Only TOUCH fire. No, never touch fire. I don’t like fire. Yucky fire, yucky fire, yucky fire.”
• Arienette: “I want a bath”
  Me: “you’re not having a bath right now.”
  Arienette: “Take off your clothes and have a bath with me”
  Me: …o
• Arienette: (talking about her sister’s chocolate) “That’s mine, mummy!”
  Me: “Well, you’re mine!”
  Arienette: “I’m not yours…”
  Me: “Yes, you are?”
  Arienette: “Why I’m yours?”
  Me: “Because you came out of my belly”
  Arienette: “I didn’t mean to!”
• Ari is fussing in her room
  Me: “What’s wrong?”
  Arienette: (comes out) “Too small! Dress is too small!”
  Me: (laughing at her attempt to wear a 12 m dress)”Yes it is, come here, I will help you”
  Me: (after)”Go put it away in my room”
  Arienette: “I can grow into it…”
  Me: “No, honey, if it was too big you could grow into it, but it is too small, it will not fit you again. Go put it away now, in my room.”
  Arienette: “Yes. I will. I don’t want it in my room ever again.”
• Arienette: “I’ll kidnap you!”
• Arienette: (Lays down on me) “You’re mine.”
  Me: “Oh, I am?”
  Arienette: “Yeah. I want to save you.”
• (Arienette is poking my chest)
  Me: “We don’t poke boobs.”
  Arienette: “We touch”
  Me: “No, we don’t.”
  Arienette: “we poke hands…”
• Me: “Sleep in your bed, not the doll box.”
  Arienette: “I keep layin, and jumpin on my bed when I’m sleepin!”
  Me: “You don’t jump on your bed when you sleep.”
  Arienette: “Yes, I’m are!”
• Me: “You go ahead and put water in it, I will put the top on.”
  Arienette: “Honey. It won’t fit!”
• Arienette: “Why there’s snow on the ground?”
  Me: “Because the world hates me.”
  Arienette: “Oh. Where is the world?”
  Me: “All around us. The world is everywhere.”
  Arienette: “Oh… like germs!”
  Me: “Yeah, like germs. That’s actually a very good analogy.”

Toddler Horror Story.

So, I hear a blood curdling scream, and rush into Arienette’s room. She found the world’s smallest spider. Seriously, it was so small, I had to get on my knees to even see it. I have no idea how she even saw it to begin with.

Arienette: “It’s gonna hurt me!”

Me: “How is that spider gonna hurt you?”

Arienette: “It’s gonna hurt my toe!”

Me: “It’s smaller than your toe.”

Arienette: “It will bite me!”

Me: “Arienette, I am much bigger than that spider”

Arienette: “It has a mouth!”

Me: “I have a mouth. Do I hurt you?”

Arienette: “No…”

Me: “So, how is that tiny little spider going to hurt you?”

We picked the little guy up and put him in my rose bush on the porch. Hopefully, he will keep the spider mite issue at bay. Seriously, though. She has no problem picking up ants to put them outside, why do spiders freak her out so much?

15

• Arienette: “I like sissa.”
  Me: “i like sissa too, I love her.”
  Arienette: “Me too, said the chick!”
• Arienette: (To Krishna) “No! Don’t drop me again!”
• Me: “I have your leaf.”
  Arienette: (serious face) “It’s dead.”
• Arienette: “I have boobs.”
  Me: “No, you’re too little.”
  Arienette: “After I’m bigger?”
  Me: “Yes, you will get them when you are bigger. Don’t worry.”
  Arienette: “Oh, okay. I want boobs. You give me boobs?”
  Me: “No, I can’t give you boobs.”
  Arienette: “You give me your boobs?”
• Me: “Get your clothes on.”
  Arienette: “I want to be a mermaid.”
  Me: “Well, I want to be a mermaid too, but you still have to get dressed.”
• Arienette: “1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 19, 20, 11, 13, 19, 20, 11…”
• Arienette: “I want you dead.”
• Arienette: “I will kill you. Imma make you dead.”
• Arienette: “My name is ‘bread’.”
• Arienette: “Oh, no! I got water on my heart!”
• Arienette: (loudly, in her room, at bed time) “Never play with fire!” (repeat)
• Me: “What did you do at school today?”
  Arienette: “I ate carrots.”
  Me: “Oh, you did? But wat did you do other than eat?”
  Arienette: “and I had a sandwich.”
  Me: “But what ELSE did you do?”
  Arienette: “And cheese.”
  Me: *sigh*
  Arienette: “I was hungry.”
• Arienette: “It’s not in my closet… it’s not in my drawer either.”
  Me: “What are you looking for?”
  Arienette: “Sissa’s crown…”
  Me: “it’s in the car.”
  Arienette: “I want it!”
  Me: “You don’t need it.”
  Arienette: “I’m Cinderella!!”

It Has Been a Long Day…

I was getting ready to get into my pj’s, and I was undressing in the bathroom. I got my bra off, and went to give my usual sigh of relief when I felt something fall out of it.

I look down, and Arienette’s necklace is dangling from my bra. I check, and, sure enough, there is a chain imprint on my chest. I called her into the bathroom.

Me: “Arienette, why was your necklace in my bra?”

Arienette: “I don’t know.”

Me: “Did you put your necklace in my bra this morning?”

Arienette: “Yes.”

Me: “Why?”

Arienette: “It’s my necklace!”

I walked around all day, went apple picking and everything, and never noticed there was something in my bra. Might have been nice for her to let me know…